So close.

So excited! I still have a long list of things to do, but 18 days!
Im going to start vloging soon for my less computer literate parents so they can just youtube it. Going to visit an aquarium today with my boyfriend if he ever gets out of bed and massages tomorrow. I've  been sick the last few days and finally feel energized.

 Back pack is packed but needs to be unpacked then repacked in ziplocks for organization and waterproofing. I also have to revise my packing list and buy a few last minute items. But look out world I'm almost ready.

Holiday!

The holidays are here. I can never pinpoint the exact moment where the feelings of warmth creep into my bones but this year I think it has come with the snow. Today it is snowing, not like huge flakes that are staying but the first snow I've seen at home all year.

The house is decorated presents bought, tree up and a house smelling of food. Im so happy and content to be spending this holiday season with my family. It's going to be two years before I spend it at home with them so I will cherish this time as it won't be the same.

Happy holidays for what ever you celebrate, or don't. Just enjoy the wonders of the last few weeks of 2015 and have some eggnog. (unless you don't like it then have some warm beverage, if you don't like those drink water. If not water just enjoy your existence because it is awesome.)

A month and a bit

So I have 50 days until I leave. That's not very many. While I am excited and counting down,  I am also beginning to grasp that I have no idea what the next year hold. I suppose you never really know but I don't have a plan.

While the prospect of just going with the flow has always seemed so enticing, I'm a planner. I like to have list and clear goals. The goal is to get to New Zealand, while until I am physically on the plane there is nothing else that I can do but wait. Waiting means stopping and reflecting, Which if your a planner like my self it usually means reflect and modify the plan while you wait. I can't do that because after arriving there is no plan other then don't starve and finding a place to sleep.

I think it should be liberating, It's not I have recently been held hostage by my emotions. I will get through this and that's awesome but for right now In my head I'm running around in circles flapping my arms going I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING WEEEEEEEEEEE.


I suppose it should be similar to what Peggy always says fake it til you make it or at least look busy.

November is finally cold!

     I'm not sure if it is every where but thus far it has been a rather warm November. Which has been a little bit jarring for my internal clock.

October was a weird month a lot of good things happened and some not so great ones . I got my Visa for my trip, and people died it was really like something out of a novel. It has been about three week since I stopped reading. I'm Pretty sure I am done the grieving period for my last book. to the library tomorrow after work to get everything sorted. It should be a great adventure.

My Trip has been booked, the flights are still up in the air but I'm actually going on my trip! Finding insurance is a pain. Most insurance will only cover you as long as you are covered by ohip, which I understand is so that I'm covered under the health care system here. It just makes it difficult to be covered. There is however a loop hole where you can apply for an extension while away. I'm hoping I qualify for it or can convince OHIP to cover me for my entire trip.

The Flights will get sorted today, hopefully. I've had to switch methods of payment but I'm going come hell or high water I'm going.

I went to the Harmony Inc, international convention and competition this past weekend, My chorus placed second overall, as a none participating member it was a treat to watch. Was Odd not being in the chorus but it was nice to watch. I did get to preform with the chorus for a special number. It was a lot of fun, we made people cry and stand in respect.

First week of November down. Starting the second. This week is filled with rehearsals for our concert on the 28th Birthday planning for my friend and My first trip to our other office to help get everything organized.  November is going to be an adventurous month.


I have to see if I can negotiate my final date of work before the trip only so I can get a few more hours. But if not I'm done on the 18th of December! WEE

Excitement and forward motion.

My Travel Visa has cleared! I'm leaving! Now I just  have to book the trip with Gap 360 and My flight! WOO!

So Soon, I'm so nervous, I'm leaving for an entire year. It's shocking and seems like a completely blank space in my life, where life after isn't because I will be doing something. I'm not sure I can do nothing  I doubt I will actually be doing nothing. It's the unknown. Which is interesting because I've always thought of my self as an adventurer.

Missing school

September. This work means many things and for the past 20 year it has meant school. Now it doesn't. My skin is itching and all I want to do is go to school. I miss it, I didn't think the feel would be so strong. All I want to do is have the structure and freedom that comes with it. The ability to choose for me what i want. This seems to have gone out the window. My home life is great but my working life is difficult.

I am working towards my trip which is wonderful, ( I have the funding for me visa!!) but something in my life  is missing. I'm not sure if it's the feeling of working towards something or moving forward or what but I currently feel lost. Along with these feels comes the panic and the despair but also the drive.

The drive to succeed and move forward away form the things that are causing me to feel trapped.

This drive has lead me to apply for a position as a stewardess for air Canada rouge. I'm excited and nervous but i need the adventure. If i don't receive the position i will still be going to New Zealand.

If I could leave now I would. The Urge is very strong.


Positive note! I'm an aunt again. My nephew Elliotte was born at 8 pounds 6 oz!   So happy to welcome him in to the world! Love you so much!

also on the positive I have joined an a Capella Barber shop chorus! I love it. Im singing bass it is fab. I'm so content. Wee!


I Love to sing.

feelings are all over the place.

Cheers

September fast approaching and lim twitching for school

For the first time in 20 years I wont be going to school in the fall. I thought it wouldn't be an issue, hahahahah was I wrong. I keep looking at course calenders and classes for institutions I can attend after work. Im not even settled into my job yet and I would love nothing more to return to school. I am greatful for my job but something about academia calls to me. Perhaps if I get myself more involved in music and things I enjoy the urge will go away. But this is like an itch Im unable to scratch.

Moving forward is not what I expected, not overly difficult but heart wrenchingly realistic.