Excitement and forward motion.

My Travel Visa has cleared! I'm leaving! Now I just  have to book the trip with Gap 360 and My flight! WOO!

So Soon, I'm so nervous, I'm leaving for an entire year. It's shocking and seems like a completely blank space in my life, where life after isn't because I will be doing something. I'm not sure I can do nothing  I doubt I will actually be doing nothing. It's the unknown. Which is interesting because I've always thought of my self as an adventurer.

Missing school

September. This work means many things and for the past 20 year it has meant school. Now it doesn't. My skin is itching and all I want to do is go to school. I miss it, I didn't think the feel would be so strong. All I want to do is have the structure and freedom that comes with it. The ability to choose for me what i want. This seems to have gone out the window. My home life is great but my working life is difficult.

I am working towards my trip which is wonderful, ( I have the funding for me visa!!) but something in my life  is missing. I'm not sure if it's the feeling of working towards something or moving forward or what but I currently feel lost. Along with these feels comes the panic and the despair but also the drive.

The drive to succeed and move forward away form the things that are causing me to feel trapped.

This drive has lead me to apply for a position as a stewardess for air Canada rouge. I'm excited and nervous but i need the adventure. If i don't receive the position i will still be going to New Zealand.

If I could leave now I would. The Urge is very strong.


Positive note! I'm an aunt again. My nephew Elliotte was born at 8 pounds 6 oz!   So happy to welcome him in to the world! Love you so much!

also on the positive I have joined an a Capella Barber shop chorus! I love it. Im singing bass it is fab. I'm so content. Wee!


I Love to sing.

feelings are all over the place.

Cheers

September fast approaching and lim twitching for school

For the first time in 20 years I wont be going to school in the fall. I thought it wouldn't be an issue, hahahahah was I wrong. I keep looking at course calenders and classes for institutions I can attend after work. Im not even settled into my job yet and I would love nothing more to return to school. I am greatful for my job but something about academia calls to me. Perhaps if I get myself more involved in music and things I enjoy the urge will go away. But this is like an itch Im unable to scratch.

Moving forward is not what I expected, not overly difficult but heart wrenchingly realistic.

Halfway to crazy but all creativity

So I have finished working at Lowe's. I will miss every one there, my co-workers were awesome. However I wasn't able to keep doing 7 days a week any more.
16/16 days of straight work are complete now I have my first weekend off since may!
Im tired and punchy but I have fringe! So happy to be volunteering at the Hamilton Fringe Festival, Im making friends and just having a blast!
Day two today!

Sharing dreams and new adventures with people. 3 days Until Montreal! Im just so thrilled!

Life is looking up and moving forward, squee!

July

As it is July First HAPPY CANADA DAY! I've made it this far. Recently I graduated from university got a job, then another job, then  a third job related to my second job and a fourth job teaching in my field. Now Im quitting my first job because my second job offered me 35 guaranteed hours a week. I'm very much looking for ward to not working 6-7 days a week and having time off.

It's all very exciting, I'm currently working on my passport application, extension on my OHIP and renewing my drivers license and health card. I'm getting closer and closer to leaving and still the majority of it all seems very surreal.

Im excited but nervous, and thats ok. Im also stoked for my vacation in July, going to Montreal for five days with friends! No longer getting ink while I'm away but oh will I enjoy those doughnuts and poutines. There is so much to see and do Im not sure we will get to it all but it will be great!

So on some healthier information i've been running again I'm on week two of the couch to 5k.  It's getting easier so I think next week will kick me in the teeth. However, I am moving forward and feeling better about it all the time.

I just need to finally find out what is wrong with my lungs and ear, and i will be ready for anything. Im hoping to find a solution to my breathing problem weather it be a puffer or just a dietary thing. I'll be happy with a solution the issue instead of a patch work job. I like to make things that last a long time.

I have so much sewing to do in the next little while and I'm not sure when ill get to it but I'm going to try my best to stay ahead of it all. Just like practicing and looking for opportunities to preform. Im hoping to get my stuff together enough to hit a few open mi nights this month.

Now that is my next/last few weeks in a nut shell.

Two jobs and time inbetween

It's been a while, but I have not forgotten. I have finished all my finals, moved home settled in and found two jobs. I work full time ish hours working in a temp agency office and at a hard wear store.

I do enjoy both my jobs however I work really weird hours. My next step,is finding places and ways to,perform weather it be in a musical, singing at open mic night, or finding a band to do weddings with. I love to perform and it's a huge part of what I want to do.

I'm looking to pick people's brains I how best to go about this while I still practice and learn in a traditional manner.

I'm in a great place I just have to,stay motivated and remember that it isn't always about work.

Finals

FINALS! I have completed Three of my five finals, one tonight and one tomorrow at noon. Im so tried and mentally drained but so close to finishing I'm not sure what to do with myself.

The great debate of the moment is do I want a sandwich or a burger for dinner. SO I am so good right now.

I can do this and will soon be done my undergrad!