Running

Some mornings I wake up and Want to leave. I just want to go and not come back until I'm ready. Some days I want to walk through books as an observer, other times as a minor character. I want to see and experience the world and I want it so bad it hurts me to be still. Other days I want to see this world and all it's wonders not just the things we see on tv or in movies but actually go to these places. However standing on the edge of this scares me beyond all reason. I am going to see and experience all the things I can in this world because I can't stand still. 
Never have I been able to be stagnant some times people get left behind but I will not slow down to satisfy others. I leave in less then a year to go away and I may not come back, I probably will but it has always been a matter of time before I leave again. It takes everything in me some days not to just pick a direction and run. Today is one of those days. I have not left my house or the campus is almost a month. I could leave right now and have no regrets. I do have promises to keep and a degree that is so close to finished that there is a counter on my blog counting down the days. So If I some times seem distant it's because my body is here but my mind is not.

I do not make promises I will not do everything in my power to keep. So finishing this degree and not running away immediately is very difficult to me. 

Im going to make the best of being home for 8 months even with only a dream drinking me forward. 

Exciting Week

So this week has been great. I've gotten all my homework done, and things for my recital are finally falling into place. I'm getting excited , trying really hard to fight through my anxiety and keeping in a positive head space. One more midterm next week then I'm free until finals.

Reading week

So, I'm on reading week this week. My professors are like go enjoy your week off and I laugh at them  usually really hard. By Week off you mean the week you give us twice as much homework for and out all of our midterms after? That week in the middle of February that isn't even a full week because one day is a holiday? No this week I have 6songs to perfect 8 to learn for singing three for flute and I some how have to manage to get good at the French horn. Once that is under my belt I have 13  short assignments, 2 long assignments, 8 chapters to read and interviews to do for my field research.
There are some pluses, seeing my boyfriend and my parents but in between sleeping and homework. I also need to take my computer to the shop because the battery is dying, and running very slowly. I'm hoping to not break the bank but we will see.

Upswing

So after an entire week of being home sick, I am finally feeling better. I have accomplished a lot today. I finished lego batman, sewing a pair of pants, three short papers, laundry, cleaned my kitchen and now have a cheese cake in the oven. I am still going to do some writing and reading before bed. Its nice to do things again. School is headed in a positive direction.

Bad news good news

Bad news first, I have a cold and a virus making my throat swollen and the beginnings of asthma.  So, I am on lots of drugs to kill it dead. The good news is im staying ontop of my homework, and actaully getting lots of sleep. almost done picking my rep for my recital, which has been shortened some due to conflicts regarding practice times and what not. This is not the end of the world but it might feel like it at times.
Starting the final phase of one of my pieces and getting an handle on the other. But first some homework, to finnish.

School, computers and many loud noises

This week has been an adventure. I got the approval to overload so, I will in fact be graduating in June! I some how have managed to stay on top of all my homework. So thats a start. I started dance again this week, after a month of not dancing, so everything from the bellybutton down hurts. Yesterday of all things to happen my computer is no longer holding a charge and has now been chained to the charge cable. So I have ordered a keyboard for my tablet. I am doing my best but my life seems to challenge me, which is good and bad. If it was all easy I would never learn anything but if it was all difficult I would suffer at the weight. However, I seem to not have a break.

As for the loud noise, my head just won't stop pounding.

Last Year, Last Semester and All I want to do is graduate

So the university has decided I am not eligible overload. I only need to be over a half credit, it's a half credit. However, I don't have an 85% average overall or in my major so I’m not allowed.  I have overloaded every other semester of my undergraduate degree but this semester I have to have an 85% average or get permission from the dean of my faculty. This is making my life overly difficult when all I want to do is finish in April and graduate in June. This does not seem to be asking for too much I am a good student and always pay my fees on time.