Some mornings I wake up and Want to leave. I just want to go and not come back until I'm ready. Some days I want to walk through books as an observer, other times as a minor character. I want to see and experience the world and I want it so bad it hurts me to be still. Other days I want to see this world and all it's wonders not just the things we see on tv or in movies but actually go to these places. However standing on the edge of this scares me beyond all reason. I am going to see and experience all the things I can in this world because I can't stand still.
Never have I been able to be stagnant some times people get left behind but I will not slow down to satisfy others. I leave in less then a year to go away and I may not come back, I probably will but it has always been a matter of time before I leave again. It takes everything in me some days not to just pick a direction and run. Today is one of those days. I have not left my house or the campus is almost a month. I could leave right now and have no regrets. I do have promises to keep and a degree that is so close to finished that there is a counter on my blog counting down the days. So If I some times seem distant it's because my body is here but my mind is not.
I do not make promises I will not do everything in my power to keep. So finishing this degree and not running away immediately is very difficult to me.
Im going to make the best of being home for 8 months even with only a dream drinking me forward.