Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Missing school

September. This work means many things and for the past 20 year it has meant school. Now it doesn't. My skin is itching and all I want to do is go to school. I miss it, I didn't think the feel would be so strong. All I want to do is have the structure and freedom that comes with it. The ability to choose for me what i want. This seems to have gone out the window. My home life is great but my working life is difficult.

I am working towards my trip which is wonderful, ( I have the funding for me visa!!) but something in my life  is missing. I'm not sure if it's the feeling of working towards something or moving forward or what but I currently feel lost. Along with these feels comes the panic and the despair but also the drive.

The drive to succeed and move forward away form the things that are causing me to feel trapped.

This drive has lead me to apply for a position as a stewardess for air Canada rouge. I'm excited and nervous but i need the adventure. If i don't receive the position i will still be going to New Zealand.

If I could leave now I would. The Urge is very strong.

Positive note! I'm an aunt again. My nephew Elliotte was born at 8 pounds 6 oz!   So happy to welcome him in to the world! Love you so much!

also on the positive I have joined an a Capella Barber shop chorus! I love it. Im singing bass it is fab. I'm so content. Wee!

I Love to sing.

feelings are all over the place.


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